Saturday, December 5, 2009

A Time of Thanks

We just left Thanksgiving for the Christmas rush, and we also recently took time at our end of the year party to thank everyone who participated in HRD. This has been a great year with our first ever trip to nationals, and we are excited about the future. Here is a list of the awards given out and of everyone who participated in the 2009 season. Thanks to everyone who took part!

Derby Brothers

1. Bla$pheny

2. Mr. Booty

3. Byrdman

4. Cary Porter

5. Chappy Davis

6. Conn

7. Dewitt Eton

8. Mr. Floorplay

9. Jack Camancho

10. Mr. Jeckyll

11. John Davis

12. John Wade

13. Johnny Diablo

14. Josh Balakonis

15. Kris Rosenkoetter

16. Maryssa Maize

17. Ozzy Zion

18. Poppa Morphine

19. Sir Loin

20. Special K

21. Steve Novotny


1. Ajax

2. Ally Basher

3. Asthmatika

4. Big Bad Voodoo Dolly

5. Boots Electric

6. Mr. Chainsaw

7. Chewcifer

8. Chicken

9. Mr. Clean

10. Head Referee: Corbin Cojones

11. Juana Destroya

12. Katie KO

13. Madame M

14. Mr. Knockahoe

15. Natalie Zelt

16. Needs Derekshun


18. Randy Pants

19. Rick Jamz

20. Roadkill

21. Rushing Cleavage

22. SOB

23. Sweetie Todd

24. Wreckx-N-Effect


1. Annheuser Butch

2. Beth Threat

3. Beverly Kills

4. Bill Shirley

5. Bunny B Trouble

6. Captain Jack Sorrow

7. Chad Cornelius

8. Charles

9. Chip Queso

10. The Colonel

11. Crispix

12. Danny Nguyen

13. Debbie Fuentes

14. Dirty Sanchez

15. Double Treble

16. Doug Seabourne

17. Elle McFierce

18. Mr. Fearest

19. George Hasbrouck

20. Honey Man

21. H.O.T. Rink Sweeper

22. Mr. Hot Wad

23. Jay Lee

24. John McKay

25. Judo Bryan

26. Kane-D-Man

27. Kelly Mora

28. Kerry McClain

29. Lisa Williams

30. Madame M

31. MakoOffOnYou

32. Mama Mistilla

33. Mama Morphine

34. Matt Glover

35. Ozzy Zion

36. The Mangler Mario Marteniz

37. Mr. Platz

38. Phil Arnold

39. Rev. Bryan

40. Richard McCullough

41. Sir Jym

42. Spanky

43. Stig Daniels

44. Tawdry Hepburn

45. Tim the Techman

46. Tony Sodaro

47. UV Vixen

48. Veronika Venom

49. Wacky Jackie

50. Mr. Who

51. Will Oxley


1. 2 Be Free Bonding

2. 396 Studios

3. Bar Stool Magazine

4. Big John's Ice House

5. Bud Light

6. Chances

7. Dairy Ashford Roller Rink

8. ESPN 97.5 The Ticket

9. Kalibrate

10. Kicks Indoor

11. MardiGras Grill

12. Montrose Skate Shop

13. Red Lion Pub

14. Roller Girl

15. SkateCourt

16. Stan and Lou

17. Wicked Skate Wear

Heads of Committees

1. AnnHeuser Butch: Head of Training

2. BabyFace Assassin: Head of Charity

3. Brand-Aid: Ticket Mistress

4. Carmen Geddit: Interleague Liason

5. Chainsaw Chick: Head of Recruiting and New Girls

6. DeMentia: Head of Art

7. Goldie BloXX: Head of Halftime and Afterparty

8. HellaBama: LeagueSecretary

9. Jekyll and Heidi: Web Mistress

10. Madame M: Rink Mom

11. Princess Prozac: Head of Production

12. Punitive Damage: Head of Legal

13. Rebel Ann : Head of Volunteers

14. Savage Rose: Head of Fundraising/Events/Band Booking

15. Scarlet O'Hurtya: Head of Media / Press / Marketing / PR

16. Sinister Sista: Head of Sponsorship and Charity

17. Starr Doom: Head of Fundraising/Events/Band Booking

18. THE PROSECUTOR: Head of Legal and Head of Training

19. Veronika Venom: Head of Merchandise and Head of Finance

Team Machete Bettie

1. Most Inspirational Bettie - Mary Choppins
2. Best Attitude Bettie - Bunny B. Trouble
3. Most Valuable Bettie - Elbow Grease and Jersey Girrrl

Bettie Skaters

1. Alexandra Vasquez

2. Anachronism

3. Beverly Kills

4. Blitz

5. Bombadee

6. CinnaBomb

7. CoCo Chanel

8. Demisha Manning

9. Domin8TRIX

10. Dutch Destroyer

11. Glam Reaper

12. Grrrl Friday

13. Janette Mereno

14. Jessica Jasso

15. Jessie Jams

16. Jorge Gonzalez

17. Kasey Bryan

18. Kathy Elliot

19. Katie Acosta

20. Kim Karsmashuin

21. Lipstick Assassin

22. Luna Styx

23. Coach - Madame M

24. Mary Choppins

25. Mechell Brown

26. Mommy Fearest

27. Nightmare on Em St

28. Pheonix Pistolero

29. Private BeenJammin

30. Scar Wars

31. Spite 'n Malice

32. Sweet Commotion

33. Sweetie Todd

34. Toni Smasheries

35. Wicked Sweet

36. Wreckx-N-Effect

Team Burlesque Brawlers

1. Best Blocker - Starr Doom
2. Best Pivot - Sinister Sista
3. Best Jammer- Speedo
4. MVP - Speedo
5. Rest of the Brawlers-

1. Brat Poison

2. Bushwacker

3. Chainsaw Chick

4. Claudia Van Damage

5. Creeping Beauty

6. Major Mayhem

7. Princess Prozac

8. Private BeenJammin

9. Savage Rose

10. Scar Wars

11. Tempestua

12. WreckHell Welch

Team Psych Ward Sirens

1. Best Blocker - Panty Raider
2. Best Pivot - Carmen Geddit
3. Best Jammer - DeMentia
4. MVP - Mistilla the Killa
5. Rest of the Sirens-
1. Brand-Aid
2. Candy Codeine
3. Copperhead
4. Domin8TRIX
5. Hot Rod Bettie
6. Ivana B Sedated
7. Jekyll and Heidi
8. Punitive Damage
9. Raven Knockahoe
10. Scarlet O'Hurtya
11. Sick Nick
12. Tex Offender

Team Bayou City Bosses

1. Best Blocker- Co-Captain Nawty Dread Knocks
2. Best Pivot - Goldie BloXX
3. Best Jammer - Death by Chocolate
4. MVP - Death by Chocolate
5. Rest of the Bosses-

1. BabyFace Assassin
2. Becky Booty
3. Blindside
4. Bo Bitchuary
5. Dailey Beatings
6. HellaBama
7. Holla Pain~Yo
8. KiKi Mojo
9. Legzibitionist
10. Miss Lead
11. Rebel Ann
12. Tamityville Horror

Team HaRD Knocks

1. Best Blocker- Miss Lead
2. Best Pivot - Becky Booty
3. Best Jammer - Death by Chocolate
4. MVP – Death by Chocolate
5. Rest of the HaRD Knocks-

1. Brand-Aid

2. Carmen Geddit

3. Chainsaw Chick

4. DeMentia

5. Goldie BloXX

6. Jekyll and Heidi

7. Mistilla the Killa

8. Nawty Dread Knocks

9. Panty Raider

10. Rebel Ann

11. Savage Rose

12. Sinister Sista

13. Speedo

14. Starr Doom

15. Tex Offender


17. WreckHell Welch

18. Bench Support: Spanky

19. Bench Support: Chicken

HRD Fun Awards

1. Miss Congeniality Award: Our favorite rollergirl with a personality plus - KiKi Mojo
2. The TaTa Award: The rollergirl with the best rack - WreckHell Welch
3. After School Special Award: Our favorite rollergirl mom - KiKi Mojo
4. Purple Heart Award: Our favorite injured rollergirl- Panty Raider
5. Flair Award: Best Dressed Rollergirl - Mistilla the Killa
6. The Comeback Kid Award: Our favorite rollergirl coming back from an injury - DeMentia
7. Wash Your Mouth Out Award: Best Trash Talker on the Track - Death by Chocolate
8. Best High Five Award: Our favorite rollergirl with the most enthusiastic Derby Spirit - Carmen Geddit
9. Smarty Pants Award: Our favorite smart-ass rollergirl - Sick Nick
10. Best HRD Practice Attendance - Blindside & Copperhead (TIE)
11. Best TT Practice Attendance - DeMentia
12. Best Event Attendance - Scarlet O'Hurtya

HRD Awards

1. Rookie of the Year - Speedo
2. Best Referee - Corbin
3. Most Improved Skater - Rebel Ann
4. MVP of HRD - Death by Chocolate

December Tryouts!

Have you always wanted to skate with Houston Roller Derby? Now is your chance! Houston Roller Derby has two upcoming tryout dates at the Dairy Ashford Roller Rink--Sunday, December 6 at 6:30pm and Sunday, January 10 at 10am.

We are looking for solid skaters who are ready to give their all for Houston Roller Derby, even if you don't have lots of derby-specific experience. The tryouts will last for two hours and will include skating drills, time trials, and meeting with the captains. Afterwards, there will be a new girl social with great food at Big John's Ice House at the corner of Dairy Ashford and Briar Forest, where you'll get to mix and mingle with derby girls. You must be 18 years old to try out. A list of frequently asked questions can be at the bottom of this email, and please let me know if you have any other questions!

Please RSVP to recruitment@houstonrollerderby if you will be attending the December 6 tryouts. The cost is $25, which includes the rink fees and the new girl social. You will need skates, pads (elbow, knee, and wrist) and a helmet. You may also want a mouthguard, which can be found very cheaply at Academy or Walmart. If you do not have pads, helmet, or skates, please let me know if you will need these and we will do our best to have some for you to use. PLEASE arrive around 30 minutes before the tryout time so we can have you fill out paperwork.

We would love to have you out! Again, please email me if you plan to try out on December 6, or if you have questions about tryouts or Houston Roller Derby. There will be one Recreational League tomorrow, December 1st at Dairy Ashford Roller Rink at 7:15pm if you want to get some time on skates this week. Thanks and hope to see you there!

Tryout FAQs

Who is Houston Roller Derby?

Houston Roller Derby is a diverse group of women in and around Houston who share a common love for derby. We are a member of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) and play all-female roller derby with quad skates on a flat track. Our league consists of three home teams and one travel team, which competes nationally.

What do I need to have with me to tryouts?

Please bring the $25 tryout fee, comfy athletic clothes, all the necessary equipment, and a great attitude. For equipment, you will need quad skates (not in-lines); knee, elbow, and wrist pads; a mouth guard; and a helmet. If you do not have all the necessary equipment, please let us know ahead of time. You may be able to rent rink skates and borrow pads or helmets if there are enough.

What is the minimum age to try out? What is the maximum age?

You must be 18 years old to join Houston Roller Derby. There is no maximum age.

If I make the league, what will the requirements be?

You will be required to make at least 70% attendance of three practices a week, cover your monthly skater dues (approximately $50 per month), and purchase WFTDA insurance ($40 a year). Each skater must also participate in league activities such as fundraisers and league meetings, and must be an active member of a committee.

What percentage of girls trying out will make the league?

There is no percentage. We will take as many girls as we feel meet the requirements and have the right attitude to skate with Houston Roller Derby. Some of our current skaters have tried out multiple times before making it. If you don’t make the league your first time, don’t give up! Work on your skills and come back to show us your commitment to derby.

What will be tested at tryouts?

We assume that most new girls will not come in with perfected derby skills. We want girls who have solid skating ability and the potential to grow. To get an idea of the minimum skills that we are looking for, click this link:

Another important factor we will be looking for is attitude. We want to see skaters who have heart, commitment, and the ability to take instruction well.
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